Strokes: Folks need Strokes!

When there is a perceived lack of positive strokes available people compete for those available.

Berne 1971: “A stroke is a unit of recognition”.

Woollams and Brown: (Transactional Analysis 1978) “A stroke is a unit of attention which provides stimulation to an individual”.

Physical stimulation is a basic human need (This is supported by research (Spitz 1945) in this research it was noted that children deprived of physical stimulation may sink into decline and become prone to death.)  Berne described this as stimulus hunger:  As we grow and develop our stimulus hunger develops and is partially transferred to a psychological version which Berne describes as recognition hunger.

Therefore a working definition of a stroke is a transaction which provides a person with either recognition or stimulation.

It appears that it matters little whether this recognition or stimulation is positive or negative. E.g. the child who is naughty in order to ‘gain attention' rather than being ignored. It should be noted therefore that ‘attention seeking behaviours' have value for those who are behaving in that way. It is important to give them attention.

Strokes are necessary to survive, to stay healthy and also for our personal and also professional growth.

This concept can be a very useful tool in working within companies, it is e.g. a way to understand how individual people give and take feed back, to reflect the feed back culture within a team.

Giving strokes and the kind of strokes has also an enormous influence on the motivation of employees.

Types of Strokes

  1. INTERNAL: fantasies, self praise, and other forms of self stimulation.
  2. EXTERNAL: strokes from others are important for healthy living.
  3. VERBAL: "It is really a good concept"
  4. NONVERBAL: smiling, frowning
  5. CONDITIONAL: the stroke is for something - “I like your coat”.  
  6. UNCONDITIONAL: the stroke is for being you - “I love you”
  7. POSITIVE: “You have good ideas about our new project"
  8. NEGATIVE: "I am not content the way you did the presentation"

Stroke value

The qualitiy and intensivity of strokes people experience is different, dependent on the kind of stroke. The "value" is different. “I love you” will carry more energy say 10, whereas “Hi” may only carry say a value of 2. In general negativ strokes get  experienced as more intensiv (have an higher value) than a similar positiv stroke.

Filtered Strokes

“Your speech included few interesting aspects" can be changed / filtered to negative or positive strokes with the person saying to herself “She was impressed by my new ideas/she found the speech all in all disapointing" The person maintains her own internal life position by using his filter.

Stroking profile

The stroking profile was first developed by Jim McKenna and was described in the Transactional Analysis Journal, October 1974. The stroking profile helps to measure how a person gives and receives strokes in 4 categories. This can be an effective tool as a person can then decide to change any part of his/her stroking profile. E.g. a person may decide to stop discounting positive strokes and to ask for more of them.

Using the stroking profile:

  1. Rate yourself in each of the categories above as to how often you do these things.

  2. Do above for both positive strokes and negative strokes.

NB: All transactions are strokes.

Once you have completed this you could then consider how you wish to change and in which direction.The aim is to develop the areas in which you have a low score rather than reducing the areas in which you have a high score.

The Stroke Economy

A simple way of rating how many strokes you exchange with significant others in your life.

List the people / situations in which you spend most time and rate the exchange of strokes.   What you are checking here is the balance of positive and negative strokes and ask your self “With whom do I want to spend most of my time?”

This is a good exercise for groups and teams and also looking for burnout scenarios

 

Notes by Dave Spenceley and Uta Hoehl-Spenceley TSTAs

Yorkshire Training Centre

www.ta-coaching.co.uk  //  coaching@ta-coaching.co.uk 

Google